My last meal would be… with friends and family; and include an entrée of potato and leak soup; main of roast lamb with a various roast vegetables and gravy, followed by a dessert of mum’s apple pie with double thick cream and blue ribbon ice cream, finished with coffee and mint slice.

I wish I had… a six pack… of beer and/ or abs…

I wish I hadn’t… been an arse

My friends always tell me… that was you wasn’t it..?

It’s not fashionable, but I… like to tell jokes and stories which are really only funny in my own world

I once saw… Matt Cunningham do the world’s biggest horsy off the Como bridge! Oh… and a man eat his own head…

My favourite music is… Pearl Jam

I’d spend my final day… saying goodbye to some and see you later to others I guess

I enjoy spending my day off… sleeping in a bit, reading the weekend paper in the sun overlooking bush or beach, having a big breaky, watching the swans win, taking the motorbike for a ride along some uncongested winding roads, play some xbox with the lads, and finishing up with a nice meal, a movie, and a sleep…

My earliest memory is… mum teaching me to read and write my name.

If I had to swap my kidney for a household item it would be… a Dyson vacuum cleaner. I think the extra suction power would make vacuuming more fun.

At Narwee I learnt… that with a bit of ingenuity and everyone sticking to the same story, you can get away with pretty much anything.

If I had to be either blind or deaf, I would choose… to be blind – because I love music, and I’d have to be a better listener.

If there was a three way fight between the ninja turtles, Herman Munster, and Gandhi, I would back… Herman. The turtles are over rated and Gandhi’s really not going to have much defence for Herman’s wicked double foot kick to the chest… that’s how I see it.

If I made up a new race of people/creatures for middle earth, they would be… The dudes, and they would all look and talk like Samuel L. Jackson.

I believe it will be possible in my lifetime to… to have something valuable to say on this website.